EPISODE 3 of River Cottage Australia has host Paul West exploring more of the Far South Coast of NSW picking up harvesting, cooking and farming tips from the locals.
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Lobster, pumpkin scones and a pig’s head all feature prominently, but the show starts out with the unfortunate but necessary task of neutering Stevie the calf, son of Paul’s milking jersey cow Bessie.
Tilba Tilba dairy farmer Nic Dibden whips out the dreaded green elastic ring that is fitted expertly to what is anatomically referenced as the “ball sack”.
And as this episode was filmed several weeks ago we can rest assured that Stevie’s sack will by now have well and truly withered away.
Viewers have expressed some concern and dismay that Stevie is destined to become steak, but that is the way on the land with little use for male calves other than salami.
Once this on-farm duty is performed, Paul is off to dive with one of the locals for his lunch – a lobster lunch that is.
Accompanying Paul is rock lobster or crayfish expert Matt Crass who apparently does work with the state fisheries department and is involved in the local catchment management authority.
Their spot is a guarded secret and so won’t be given away in this inside report, destined forever to remain a mystery.
But it takes no time for them to rustle up a lobster each among the kelp fronds with the underwater scenery just as spectacular as the green rolling hills topside, with their mouth-watering treasure barbecued up on the beach.
Now for some cooking and Paul decided to enter the next harvest fair cooking competition at the village of Quaama just down the highway from the River Cottage Australia farm at Central Tilba.
It’s a pumpkin-themed contest and Paul has a plan to use his new connections made at the Country Women’s Association group cookery contest hosted by the Bermagui branch.
He decides to get group cookery officer Nelleke Gorton to show him how to make pumpkin scones for the contest at Quaama.
This is an “inside” report after all and what could be more behind the scenes than having your own mother feature in this episode.
The mother of this author in her capacity as a CWA judge has appeared in an episode of Masterchef, as well as performance baking art piece by the Brown Council to bake all 137 items from the CWA cookbook in just 90 hours.
But I digress, and in this episode of River Cottage, my mum Nelleke shows Paul how to make the scones in her kitchen at Tanja, with tips including to cool the pumpkin first, to spread out the scones on the baking tray and to gently prise apart the scones when done.
Equipped with this expert knowledge Paul heads off to find his own pumpkins, two different varieties as advised by Nelleke.
He tracks down sustainability advocate Michael Hulse who grows his veggies on the fertile floodplain of the Deua River west of Moruya.
Michael is a member of the SAGE (Sustainable Agriculture and Gardening Eurobodalla) and offers up his fresh produce at the group’s Tuesday farmers market at Riverside Park, Moruya.
Apparently he shares a stall with former chef and now vegetable grower Tim Saffery, who recently sold up his share of the renowned River Restaurant to go back to the land – much like Paul, just without the television audience.
Back to show with Paul picking out two prime pumpkins before checking out Michael’s amazing and ingenious worm farm that consists of a descending row of 20 old bathtubs lined up end-to-end that direct the “worm wee” down the hill to be used as vegetable food.
Paul then bakes his scones back at the River Cottage farmhouse before arriving at the festival baked goods in hand – and as I’ve written before, this is one host not afraid to take on the locals.
The bad news is that somehow word is out that he is going to be making an appearance, which means he is competing against a record 50 or more entries.
Check out our previous coverage:
The judges were secretary of the South East–Sapphire Coast Producers Association Geoffrey Grigg and Quaama shop owner and chef Kel Gillies, who had their work cut out for them taking the time to savour and comment on each dish.
The end result is that while the judges are impressed with his scones, Paul is beaten by the talented locals and is filmed writing the word “resilience” on a Post-it note to be pinned up with thoughts of the day from others.
In this episode, Paul also heads up into the hills to pick up some more livestock for the farm in the form of some pigs.
He tracks down farmer Martin Noakes at the village of Bredbo up on the Monaro Plain, who just happens to have some young pigs on offer.
He tells the host that he always sells pigs in pairs or more as they can pine away to death if left alone, so Paul decides to get four – two to breed more piglets and two others the product of a unplanned intrusion and mating by a feral boar.
These two piglets with wild genetics prove to be a handful but Paul is able to get them and the two more docile breeders back to the farm where Martin helps him set up his pigpen.
The reward is that at the end of the episode the two sit down to a meal of a whole baked pigs head, which the two agree is one of the most under-used cuts of meat.
But the sight of the big head boiling in the pot like last week’s rabbit kill is a bit confronting.
The list of local venues showing River Cottage that airs on The LifeStyle Channel on Foxtel on Thursday nights at 8.30pm is growing to take in pubs and clubs at Narooma, Bermagui, Cobargo and Bega.
But one hub of River Cottage fandom on Thursday last week was at the Gorton household where Nelleke and her friends and family gathered excitedly to watch the show.
All agreed that their favourite baker and CWA member did a fine job and the show was a lot of fun to watch.
Next week is Episode 4, and with hardly any rain for weeks, and a malfunctioning water tank, Paul is suddenly faced with a farmer’s worst fear - a critical shortage of water.
His cows, pigs and veggies all depend on a steady supply, so Paul enlists the help of local farmer to see if they can tap on old spring on the property. But will it flow long enough to save the farm?
Meanwhile, as Paul settles into his new rural community, he discovers one of the joys of country life at the local food swap.
Armed with seafood he’s foraged nearby, Paul scores a box full of unusual fruits, vegetables and wild game, which he uses to create a hearty winter meal.
We look forward to bringing you more of the inside story and the story of the locals in next week’s Narooma News River Cottage Australia inside report.
Here is the previous "inside report":
The locals are excited:
