The third season of The Bachelor Australia premiered last night and, despite 19 women being introduced to the show's ruthless/devoted/probably a bit drunk audience, there is only one name everyone is talking about this morning: Sandra.
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She's the crazy one. She's picking fights with other women, she's using phrases like, "I don't want to get ahead of myself, but..." and following them up with phrases like "the love of my life" after knowing someone for less than five minutes.
But... could Sandra actually be Sam Wood (Bachelor 3.0)'s soul mate?
Sure, she's been set up for failure. Last night's episode focused heavily on Sandra butting heads with the undeniably lovely Reshael, who wanted the mansion to remain gossip-free (a noble if not obviously impossible pursuit). That's reality television; there always has to be a villain, and at the moment Sandra is it.
And yet, there does seem to be a substantial amount of evidence that the Bachelor will keep Sandra around. Here's the analysis.
1. Won't somebody please think of the children?
He's got a kids' fitness business. She's a primary school PE teacher. Did someone say after-school care business opportunity?
2. They already have a secret high five
And, by "first episode" standards, that's a pretty high level of intimacy.
3. Opposites attract
Obviously Sandra is a little louder than sensitive Sam. That's fine. Just watch this 1980s educational video:
4. Her past sins will be soon forgotten
Yes, Sandra came on a bit strong in the first episode. But, let's not forget how long this competition goes for. By the time it wraps up sometime in 2025 no one will remember her commitment to gossiping about the other contestants on the first night.
More importantly, all of the drama in last night's episode happened – as it often does – when the Bachelor was not around. So, unless there's a leak, it seems unlikely it will affect his decisions at future rose ceremonies.
5. She looks a lot like inaugural white rose recipient, Heather
He might have a thing for brunettes with side parts?
6. She's definitely going to be on the show for a while
There were 19 women on last night's episode of The Bachelor. This morning, most people who watched the show can name six, at best.
There's no way the producers would have wasted that much backstory on Sandra if she wasn't sticking around for at least another couple of weeks. They would have given that airtime to the one with the white dress. No, not that one. The other one.
7. And the reason Sandra gave herself...
"Sam and Sandra; we are, like, S-S. That, just, like, completely goes!"