Cleverer people than I believe we can bend time. They write about it in science publications.
One such publication revealed that Albert Einstein's theory of special relativity proposes that time is an illusion that moves relative to an observer.
That might go some way to explaining just how shocked I was to learn that Australia's first international immunisation passports would roll out next month. For a moment there, I thought large swathes of the nation were gripped in the vice-like grip of a COVID-19 outbreak.
Not so. Time was clearly bent overnight as a breathless news reporter shared the news first thing. "We're getting back to normal" she said before detailing additions to sewage I wasn't sure I needed at that hour. The fact the good people listening couldn't actually leave the LGA seemed to bypass her completely.
All this actually won't happen until vaccination coverage for people aged 16 and over reaches 80 per cent, which is likely months away. And then there;'s the small matter of integrating vaccination certificates into existing check-in apps and for the introduction home quarantine.
But it just might be all part of the "carrot and syringe strategy". The carrot and stick model of persuasion is now passe. This latest incarnation involves a reward being dangled in front of you, but it will only be attainable if you've been double-jabbed. The cynical might suggest it's a diversionary tactic, too, but who knows ...
While we're on jabs, rest easy.
COVID-19 Taskforce Commander Lieutenant-General John Frewen says our supply issues are over and the success of the nation's rollout now hinges on public uptake.
"The vaccines are coming, the distribution networks are in place and expanding. It all comes down now to public willingness to come forward," the general said.
You can check out the state of play across the nation, right here.
Thing is, emails obtained under Freedom of Information released today revealed that Pfizer first contacted the Australian government in July 2020. The company requested a formal virtual meeting with the federal health minister at the "earliest opportunity". That meeting happened two months later and a deal - for only 10 million doses - was not signed until November.
A spokesman for the minister concerned, Greg Hunt said the emails were not evidence the government was slow to act: "The department has been actively engaged with Pfizer since very early in the pandemic. These discussions have been extensive and co-operative."
Which probably takes us full circle and back to bending time. It seems like it's more common than you think in 2021.
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