In the midst of a loneliness epidemic where people are having less sex, marriage rates are declining, and social isolation is increasing, Australians are obsessed with a show where two strangers meet for the first time at the wedding altar.
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Married at First Sight is an international hit for Australian television, with the premiere of the 2023 season attracting a staggering national audience of 1.29 million.
Former New Zealand cricketer turned relationship expert John Aiken has served as one of the matchmakers pulling the strings of the social experiment for the past ten seasons.
He told ACM the show's appeal for Australian viewers was in the depiction of a 'fairytale' romance.
"People want to see that strangers can fall in love," he said.
"Singles watch it and say I need to avoid that type of person. And couples watch it and say, well, we need to change what we're doing here and do better. I think people learn through watching it, what not to do, when it comes to relationships."
Online dating has changed the way we fall in love and Mr Aiken believes Married at First Sight provides an opportunity for contestants to escape the transactional nature of apps like Tinder and Hinge.
"I remember meeting some of the people before coming on the show. And I said to them, what's the dating world like? And they said one of the reasons they were coming on Married at First Sight is because at least on the show they get the chance of being with someone for eight weeks," he said.
"Whereas out in the dating world, it's very transactional. And often you don't get any time."
The show is no stranger to controversy, with the unusual premise attracting fierce criticism for perpetuating toxic and controlling relationships.
In season two one of the grooms announced "she's not what I ordered" on seeing his bride-to-be. Sexting, wife swaps and cheating scandals have plagued the ill-fated couples, while more than one pairing has lasted beyond the show.
Mr Aiken believes viewers appreciate the way the social dynamics of the participants resemble high school.
"They look at it and think I was one of the kids that was socially on the outside, or I dated an alpha, or I was part of the popular group or I was never able to quite get things off my chest when I was at high school and confronted by certain people," he said.
"So I think it takes them back. It reminds them of the past."
After orchestrating ten seasons of matches, Mr Aiken has some robust advice for people who are dating: Never ignore the red flags.
He said if someone is hung up on an ex, don't get back to you promptly, or are vague about plans, don't waste your time.
"Don't down date," he said.
And for those in relationships Mr Aiken emphasised maintaining intimacy by having rituals of connection throughout the day like a glass of wine in the evening and a kiss goodbye in the morning.
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"At the end of every day, have a conversation with each other where you vent about any of the stresses you've gone through, and your partner listens, but doesn't fix. So no solutions, no advice, just side with your partner and empathize," he said.
"Be aware of technology, particularly when you're in the presence of your partner. If you're talking to each other, put the phones down. Make sure that when they are reaching out and making a bid for your attention, catch it. And make sure that you're not head down in a computer or on your phone."
With 'commitment ceremonies' fast approaching, the social experiment comes to a close at the end of March.
Millie Costigan
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