Dads, being physically present is not enough

But amid the headlines, there's a deeper, more confronting truth we're missing: the role that strong, connected fathers must play in protecting their sons from the disturbing influence of internet echo chambers, macho culture, and unregulated algorithms.

We learn from the first episode of Adolescence that Jamie's dad is a powerful figure in his life.

He's who Jamie chooses as his "appropriate adult" after being charged with murder at the age of 13.

We see more of him than any other character, including Jamie himself. As the series goes on, however, we discover that while Jamie's father is physically present, he is largely absent from Jamie's emotional, inner world.

And that's the problem.

As a parent, love isn't just about being present; it's also about how that presence is felt.

If young boys don't have a strong, emotionally engaged father to help them navigate their inner world, they'll search for guidance in other places.

Adolescence shows just how quickly that void can be filled by social media, online content, or influencers who don't have their best interests at heart.

It's the feeling that someone is speaking directly to them, always there, always answering, giving them a sense of belonging that sadly, a father sometimes can't.

This is a core message hiding in plain sight throughout the series: dads matter. They shape how their sons see themselves, handle relationships, and understand what it means to be a man.

If fathers don't show up, someone else - often the loudest voices online - will.

Boys need reassurance, encouragement, and a sense of safety from their dads.

There's a moment in the show when Jamie recounts playing in a soccer match and noticing that his dad only paid attention when he was doing well.

That kind of conditional approval stays with a child. It teaches them that their worth is tied to performance, not to who they are.

And it's in those small, seemingly everyday moments that boys start to form beliefs about themselves that can become damaging over time.

So why do so many fathers, despite loving their children, fall into this dynamic?

The answer is both incredibly simple and profoundly complicated: The way men father today is often a reflection of how they were raised.

When men become fathers, some reflect and make a conscious decision to do things differently. Others follow the script they were handed, sometimes without even realising it.

Jamie's dad is a working-class man doing his best to provide for his family, just as his own father did. He loves his son in the best way he knows how. He's parenting the way he was taught. It's a generational cycle, reinforced by the world around him.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

We need to shift the narrative. This isn't about blaming fathers, it's about empowering them to be the guiding light their sons need in a world full of confusing, frightening, and exploitative messages. Adolescence shows us the cost of silence, distance, and emotional unavailability, but it also points to the potential power of presence, of connection, and of doing things differently.

So, what can we do?

For families, it starts with recognising that emotional support isn't optional - it's foundational.

Fathers don't have to have all the answers, but they do need to be curious about their child's inner world. Ask questions. Listen without judgement. Praise effort, not just achievement. Let boys see their dads as emotionally engaged men. When they see this healthy behaviour modelled before them, it gives them permission to act the same.

These same principles need to make their way into the classroom, too. Helping young boys navigate the emotional turbulence of puberty, sexuality, and friendships lays the groundwork for their lifelong wellbeing and identity. These lessons in emotional literacy must engage parents, too. We need to see more schools engage dads, offer parenting resources, and create opportunities for male caregivers to build connections with their children in meaningful ways.

READ MORE:

We can all play a part in building a culture that supports and values fatherhood, not just in financial terms, but emotional ones too.

Community programs, sporting clubs, and youth services all have a role to play in modelling and encouraging emotionally present father figures.

It takes a village to raise a child. Adolescence shows what happens when the village has let them down, leaving young people to figure things out on their own. If we're serious about tackling the crisis facing young boys, we need to look beyond the screens and start asking harder questions about who is - and isn't - showing up in their lives.

Dads don't need to be perfect, but they do need to be present. That presence might be the most powerful thing standing between a boy and a world of confusion.