There were other factors in my teammate's suicide and they need to be talked about too

I thought I was ready to retire when my career finished in 2018. My business at The Dock was doing great and I'd spent the year after my former teammate Dan Vickerman died by suicide researching how the brain works.

But my brain was still a mess and it's taken me more than five years of work (both on myself and with a psychologist) to get to where I am today.

Maybe I have chronic traumatic encephalopathy - a brain condition associated with repeated head knocks and more widely known as CTE - and I'm in denial (I had five or more head knocks in 20 years of playing rugby).

But I love how my brain works now and think publicity about CTE research needs to be kept quiet - or at least done carefully - until there's actually something that can be done about it.

The Australian published a thoughtful article about "Vicks" last weekend and discussed the role CTE played in his death.

Personally, I feel it overstated the role of CTE and think that can be unhelpful and potentially dangerous because I would like the conversation to focus on what former athletes can do, rather than them feel helpless in a fight against something that has no cure.

I want to be clear - CTE research is crucial, and the game - and all sports - needs to do everything they can to protect players' brains. But it can be dangerous to imply that every athlete's struggle after sport is caused by it.

It also risks taking the focus away from the things we can do to stay healthy and sane in retirement like prioritising sleep and exercising with friends.

I saw "Vicks" not long before he died. He looked like he'd stopped exercising, which made me wonder if he ever fully got over his broken leg.

I'd broken mine almost identically to "Vicks" 10 years earlier. I remember during the 2011 World Cup, he'd ask me nearly every day about my recovery, often mentioning how painful the rod inside his leg was.

But you'd never know he was in pain come game day, and I was so lucky to play with him.

Looking back, all of that makes me think he might have still been struggling with it in retirement, and that likely affected how much he was able to move and exercise.

And for me, without regular exercise, I'm not sure I'd still be here.

Of course, there would have been other factors in Dan's death too. And just to be clear, I think the researchers are doing incredible work in the CTE space.

But there's another issue that doesn't get enough attention: the impact of extreme excitement on the brain.

The highs and adrenaline of playing in front of big crowds leaves a mark. I imagine it's the same for musicians and I think about Avicii's death a lot.

For me, letting go of that feeling and trying to stop chasing the high was one of the hardest parts. Searching for that same excitement led me to make some dumb financial decisions, which caused problems I've only recently started to recover from.

So what I'm trying to say is this: researchers need to keep researching. And sport needs to do more to prepare players for life after the final whistle, especially when it comes to understanding our own psychology.

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It can't just throw its hands in the air and say all struggles are "CTE-related" especially when plenty of non-contact sport athletes struggle too (like swimmers).

The system has to educate players on the importance of building an identity outside of sport, because that's what will help them find a new purpose.

Maybe some of this training already exists, but it also needs to give them practical tools to manage their mental health better.

Even if it's just reinforcing the basics like how to get good sleep, and how important regular exercise and staying connected with mates is for a healthy brain.

Because it shouldn't just be about helping athletes survive after sport. It should be about helping us build a life worth living, and looking back knowing our sporting career was just chapter one.

I hope this doesn't come across as negative, but I think there's still so much more we can learn from Dan's story that will save lives, beyond just CTE.

And not all of it needs to come from a science lab.