I ditched the big wedding and eloped; it was the best decision I've made

"I want a big wedding."

"I think we should elope. No, let's stick with a big wedding."

"Maybe we could elope, and then have a big party. Or, we could elope and then have a big wedding as a surprise for our first anniversary. But I've never kept a secret in my life. But maybe I could this time. Let's just stick with a big wedding."

"No, actually, let's elope."

That's what my now husband heard daily for months before we were even engaged.

I knew a ring was on its way, so I wasn't entirely delusional, but the idea, and the stress of even the thought of planning a wedding, was sending me slightly bonkers.

For me, that's because wedding culture has gone wild.

With Pinterest, TikTok, YouTube, and other social media platforms at my disposal, I constantly compared wedding dresses, engagement rings, flowers, venues, cakes, bridesmaid dresses, suits, shoes, hair, make-up, food and decorations with every scroll.

Inundated with choice, weddings seem to have become about much more than celebrating the love of two people.

With access to so much wedding content at our fingertips, weddings can feel like a kind of competition between whose was the biggest, boldest, and most beautiful - or, who had the biggest budget.

And, being 29, and in the thick of life's wedding era, (I've been to around 25 in my life) it was becoming increasingly difficult to compete, or create something that would be memorable or even meaningful without having to spend a fortune (which I know I would, because I cannot budget to save my life).

That's why I asked my partner on a random Thursday night if he was planning to pop the question.

Again, this wasn't as crazy as it might sound, because we had a little getaway planned, and I knew he would take advantage of the ocean for a pristine proposal.

From the look in his eye, it was obvious that he was going to, and then, I said something even crazier.

"Well, do you want to just get married while we're there?"

He replied, "I will if you will", and the rest is history.

In four days, we managed to plan and pull off the perfect wedding for us. And I'm so glad we did.

We didn't tell our friends or family; we simply ran away to Newcastle and came back not only engaged but also married (although not legally).

The legal part was the only hitch in the road during the wedding planning, as in Australia, you are legally required to sign a Notice of Intended Marriage form one month before tying the knot.

The legalities of it all didn't matter, though, because to us, after our perfect day, we were husband and wife.

The first part of what made our day so special was the secrecy, like two kids in love; we just wanted to have a day for ourselves, celebrating the life we had built together.

Small and intimate, there wasn't any need to stress about who to invite, how many people to invite, spending hundreds of dollars on invitations or save the dates.

We saved the trouble of planning the perfect seating chart, not having to stress about where to seat that one crazy uncle or opinionated aunt.

We didn't have to stress about the weather forecast, because even though it was predicted to rain, there was nothing we could do about it with four days' notice (it was clear skies all afternoon.)

Not only did we save stress, we also saved thousands of dollars.

With no time to even shop for a dress, I found a wedding gown for sale online, as well as some shoes and a veil. My bridal look, including hair and makeup, came down to less than $1000.

We didn't spend any money on a venue, with the main expense on the day ending up being the $700 we spent on a shared dinner for the five total guests.

Overall, for our day, including accommodation to stay by the beach, and a lot of unnecessary last-minute panic purchases, we spent less than $5000.

Another way we saved money was by having our dear friend Jessica Kamilic, who is a brilliant photographer, photograph the day.

Meanwhile, her husband Aleks was our informal celebrant. I have known Aleks for more than half my life, and having such a dear friend perform our ceremony was one of the most amazing gifts I could have ever received.

Not only did it make our wedding so special, but now the physical evidence of having our close friend in our wedding photos makes everything more meaningful.

Most importantly, my husband and I got to spend the whole day together.

We woke up on the morning of our wedding and went out for breakfast, we did some last-minute shopping, and after our wedding ceremony and dinner with our friends, we ended the night with cups of tea while overlooking the ocean in our apartment.

The most anxiety-inducing part of the whole thing was coming home and telling our loved ones.

Of course, everyone was so excited, and with this excitement, we decided to plan a party to celebrate (and a legal wedding ceremony.)

The legalities were held in my grandparents' garden, which will be a memory I treasure forever.

Then, knowing there was no pressure, we threw a party at the Bathurst Golf Club.

Under the guise of a post-wedding celebration, there was no pressure to make sure that our wedding would go down as a memorable one; it was just a way to make sure that we felt connected to everyone in our lives.

There was no stress about who to invite and seating charts, it was just a good old-fashioned get-together, and we let the chips fall where they may.

Of course, it couldn't have been possible without a lot of help from our families, but we still managed to come out under the average cost of an Australian wedding, even though we technically had three events.

And, just like our wedding day, my husband, James, and I ended the night eating free McDonald's in the car and imagining the rest of our lives together.